shaivite

When love presents itself: we fold
When love finds us: we hide
When love is in front of us: we undress it.

Love sprouted within me when I saw you.  Nothing mattered in that moment, not the looks I got for even looking at you at that theatre. When I saw you something inside me opened up, like when Peter Pan finds his magick.  Something lifted off me and I found myself in a place where everything made sense even though outside my bubble it would not.

I saw you how I wanted to see you.  Bare with no gender.  You were you and I was me.  In that moment you were flawless, beyond measure.

In a funny way it felt like you had concubines at your sides, when I look back now, I could have said they had been. We played things cool in our conversation, from my side anyway, and made a move by exchanging numbers.

I left in a daze not understanding what happened to me:  You had already happened and I hadn't known.  The time between that moment at the theatre passed. Someone made a call, the other accepted a friend request and I caught a taxi to see you.
Without a thought about anything realistic, I knew I had to see you.  I knew something was up with me, but I didn't know what.  The thought of you made me blush: I didn't even have time to catch myself.
"Yes, I'm by the garage.  (Big smile). I see you".
I notice you, but no-one else.
We walk to your house, meet everyone and relax in the cottage.

If you asked me the most nervous time I had with you: this was it.
Do you like me?  When would you tell me?  Should I show you that I like you?

I never even thought you if had someone special in your life. I didn't care. You were mine. I was sure the universe had approved and sent you, why else would we be here?

I never left.

In the days that followed we talked.  We reasoned with love to let us in slowly, to let us be human, gentle.  Moments after we couldn't tear ourselves away from the other.  I had often counted my hours on this planet, since then...I have been counting my moments. For it was you that I spent long, lazy Sundays where I slowly learnt that love meant getting up a little before the other. We slept, walked and made love.

When love presents itself: I will not fold
When love finds us: I will not hide
When love is in front of me: I will wash its feet with waters from flowers.

This and that and some English

I've finding things to do these days....getting a job, studying for my TEFL and just random good things. My good things are crazy to some people...my favourite activities definitely include drinking tea. I look forward to sundowners with tea, reading a book anywhere, chatting with people I haven't seen in a while.  I have been looking and definitely finding. Last week I found that if I don't meditate, I can't super focus. Things like that.  I found myself looking at my poems/words in my phone.

The one I keep looking at:

Shiva loves and dies in ashes

Shiva loves and dies in ashes every time you look at me.
Shiva loves and dies in ashes when we greet.
Shiva loves and dies in ashes when we speak, afraid to address what concerns us the most.
Shiva loves and dies in ashes in our silences and the lines between them.
Shiva loves and dies in ashes of faded henna.  Right between the pumpkin spinach and basmati.  We let the moments go, our moments of touch. Lips. Neck. Back. Breasts. Skin. Toes. We lived the moments before thinking them. They have become a faded memory that we think only happened in each others thoughts.
Only when we see each other do we remember our downfalls.  I have failed love's memory with you.

I haven't forgotten you but you have moved forward.


B.R

The Love House (ラブ ハウス)... 愛をこめて(Ai wo komete)

The Love is spreading...and I have found a home in Pretoria.  I am finding that love is hard to find if you are looking for it.  I have found a love oasis instead..a place I can chill, play scrabble (very important for me) and read books without distracting males with roving eyes.

I have also found that the Love House can host my products there. So my products have a home in Pretoria and Jozi...I'll be with you soon. But these sisters have my back.  It is an amazing space in Pretoria's Sunnyside.  It seems for all those souls that do not fit into Pretoria's uppity crowd or house peeps, a place has been created for them.. If you ask me it is the perfect place for my heart to rest and gain strength before I leap out into the world.


Love is a worthy contender in today's capital driven world. Everywhere I look, love is becoming that thing you know is loosing value now and will be selling high one day. It is often easy for one to choose something either than love, it is just easier.  But love asks us to look within ourselves. It asks us to love ourselves...find ourselves and even love others for the sake of ourselves.  It is hard to give into that feeling honestly without trying to get something out...for most people. The rest of us that give it 100% get left behind on the side of the road like deer during hunting season...or cows in the middle of main roads in villages.  We are left with our tongues out, eyes glazed...helpless till we get back on our feet.


It has occurred to me that after getting up, it may not be easy for me to love when I have intense hate.  I have an intense hate for African men(South African...African specifically). Yeah! I said it. I really hate that I have this hate cause it means it will get in the way of my loving somehow.  I don't think you can love unconditionally with some kind of hate in your heart.  I am walking my way slowly out of it...one foot in front of the other...if only men could be kinder to me as I make the journey....


So if you are looking for Beading Dancer Products...you will find them at The Love House on De Kock street, Sunnyside, Pretoria. My journals, skin products and jewels.

Love. Ai. Lerato

New pics of new tings!!

My new products

I still have these African journals and you can email me to view other designs or specify the design.  The skin products are also available. I have bath salts, scrubs, salves and foot polishes available.