I am finding it hard to forget you.
The scent of your hand hasn't faded yet...I'm still waiting four spirit to reclaim the last of it.
I haven't forgotten you standing close behind me, hugging me, your arms around me.
Content. Satisfied.
How your hands seemed to belong with mine.
They used to find mine and hug them so gently.
Late morning. My nose would find the smell of breakfast with your face in line for the day's first kiss.
Why is it that these things never erase themselves and require so much effort to temporarily disappear?
All our small moments have collided into un-erasable data...stone masoned onto my fresh, biological heart.
Wednesday 27 November 2013
shaivite
When love presents itself: we fold
When love finds us: we hide
When love is in front of us: we undress it.
Love sprouted within me when I saw you. Nothing mattered in that moment, not the looks I got for even looking at you at that theatre. When I saw you something inside me opened up, like when Peter Pan finds his magick. Something lifted off me and I found myself in a place where everything made sense even though outside my bubble it would not.
I saw you how I wanted to see you. Bare with no gender. You were you and I was me. In that moment you were flawless, beyond measure.
In a funny way it felt like you had concubines at your sides, when I look back now, I could have said they had been. We played things cool in our conversation, from my side anyway, and made a move by exchanging numbers.
I left in a daze not understanding what happened to me: You had already happened and I hadn't known. The time between that moment at the theatre passed. Someone made a call, the other accepted a friend request and I caught a taxi to see you.
Without a thought about anything realistic, I knew I had to see you. I knew something was up with me, but I didn't know what. The thought of you made me blush: I didn't even have time to catch myself.
"Yes, I'm by the garage. (Big smile). I see you".
I notice you, but no-one else.
We walk to your house, meet everyone and relax in the cottage.
If you asked me the most nervous time I had with you: this was it.
Do you like me? When would you tell me? Should I show you that I like you?
I never even thought you if had someone special in your life. I didn't care. You were mine. I was sure the universe had approved and sent you, why else would we be here?
I never left.
In the days that followed we talked. We reasoned with love to let us in slowly, to let us be human, gentle. Moments after we couldn't tear ourselves away from the other. I had often counted my hours on this planet, since then...I have been counting my moments. For it was you that I spent long, lazy Sundays where I slowly learnt that love meant getting up a little before the other. We slept, walked and made love.
When love presents itself: I will not fold
When love finds us: I will not hide
When love is in front of me: I will wash its feet with waters from flowers.
When love finds us: we hide
When love is in front of us: we undress it.
Love sprouted within me when I saw you. Nothing mattered in that moment, not the looks I got for even looking at you at that theatre. When I saw you something inside me opened up, like when Peter Pan finds his magick. Something lifted off me and I found myself in a place where everything made sense even though outside my bubble it would not.
I saw you how I wanted to see you. Bare with no gender. You were you and I was me. In that moment you were flawless, beyond measure.
In a funny way it felt like you had concubines at your sides, when I look back now, I could have said they had been. We played things cool in our conversation, from my side anyway, and made a move by exchanging numbers.
I left in a daze not understanding what happened to me: You had already happened and I hadn't known. The time between that moment at the theatre passed. Someone made a call, the other accepted a friend request and I caught a taxi to see you.
Without a thought about anything realistic, I knew I had to see you. I knew something was up with me, but I didn't know what. The thought of you made me blush: I didn't even have time to catch myself.
"Yes, I'm by the garage. (Big smile). I see you".
I notice you, but no-one else.
We walk to your house, meet everyone and relax in the cottage.
If you asked me the most nervous time I had with you: this was it.
Do you like me? When would you tell me? Should I show you that I like you?
I never even thought you if had someone special in your life. I didn't care. You were mine. I was sure the universe had approved and sent you, why else would we be here?
I never left.
In the days that followed we talked. We reasoned with love to let us in slowly, to let us be human, gentle. Moments after we couldn't tear ourselves away from the other. I had often counted my hours on this planet, since then...I have been counting my moments. For it was you that I spent long, lazy Sundays where I slowly learnt that love meant getting up a little before the other. We slept, walked and made love.
When love presents itself: I will not fold
When love finds us: I will not hide
When love is in front of me: I will wash its feet with waters from flowers.
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