Monti
I went to East London last december...not P.E....East London or Monti(depends if you grew up there or not). I had a bit of a tough time cause I was broke but I guess if the universe wills it, you will most often get it. Camping in Desbo`s backyard was an amazing, even more amazing is the feeling of spending time with friends that truly care.
I had found myself at the end of my rope somehow during that holiday, but quick trips around East London made sure my spirits were up. If it wasn`t for the wind...it would be an ideal spot to live. East London`s wind factory is crazy, I`m a jozi girl and wind translates to cold. Desbo is currently my pillar of strength I guess that`s what true friends become, even if she lives that far...but my core consultation on anything is her....I am glad I had to wait this long to find a friend like this.
So went to town and generally chilled which happens to be my favourite passtime(besides actually travelling and dancing). The backyard was a bit of an adventure, the frogs would sing us to insomnia,the next moment we have dogs running around....poitjiekos the next.
East London always reflective in so many ways...i guess largely cause I have people who reflect the truth back.
The trip back 
The trip was a trip to forget(really!). I took the trip back with my friend....it was two days before Christmas. I warn anyone who would like to take the train back to Jozi on a sunday, not to. The train was 6hours late....yes 6 HOURS LATE....the apology we got from Metro rail(Shosholoza) were 5 potato slap chips and a piece of meat(Me being vegetarian was not impressed). Somehow client service is not something that is taught in South Africa...I guess we all think saying `Ubuntu` makes us client friendly and replaces client services.
I was just glad to be home...cause I was about to meet a very special someone(as the universe would have it)
The special somebody
I had met my peanut in tertiary, we weren`t very good friends back then. We made another connection at a dance festival I was apart of some time back. Peanut contacted me in december to keep in touch,nje(just). We talked a lot during my trip in Monti....and when I came back...we decided we should at least catch-up. I guess that got the ball rolling and we hit it off.
At a point in my life when I thought I haven`t been learning much...peanut has really given me a lot to think about. I have been in information overdrive since then....but I can`t remember someone really caring about where I am...if I am safe. And the constant reminders about caring....I guess I haven`t been cared for in a while. I guess that`s what happens when we put ourselves in relationships that are less about both parties and are mainly about the hunter and the gatherer.
Hunter gatherer relations can be deep and I have only realised this recently. Relations between men and women are just DEEP....and in South Africa they get rough. You could find your open-minded self getting attacked for being open about your values. In this day and age it is still not a good idea to open yourself up to an average African male. If they don`t believe in something...they oppose it...physically or other wise. Expressing your true feelings can be a death wish if you aren`t careful. For some reason the average South African male has been taught that they come first...first in ralationships.....lines....food...ANYTHING. I mean our cultures have been diluted that men can feel like you don`t have a choice in a decision and they have the right to take a decision for you.
This of course means women in general do not contribute to decisions....decisions in financial decisions, activities,relationship decisions....and sexual issues. The funny thing is that most of these traditionalist men don`t read or build themselves as people because when you think you are gods gift to this earth...why improve. This has cause a lotta problems in our society...its let men think that the word`RESPONSIBILITY` is something someone needs to do once in their life.
This is deeper than age cause....I met a pretty young fellow..someone in their early twenties(maybe even in their 9-teens) they were telling me a women needs to cook for them cause he can`t have it any other way. He states that because his dad never touches a pot...he can`t either. And I thought that kind of thinking died when Steve Biko was fighting for black conciousness....unfortunately that became a buzz word instead of a movement. You can`t lift a finger for yourself when your mind is in your way....
Ok...so i go off-line sometimes..so I came back and I busted my way into town,then hid in the undergroves of love and life. And its been good...I don`t think I have put this much of myself in a relationship. I haven`t go this much out of a relationship either...it`s chipped away so much gunk....peeled away so many layers off my introvert-self that keeps me at arms length from my true self. It is amazing how another person can have that impact on you. Make you realise how much you needed to be awakened in one aspect of your life. It is DEEP!
So now...
I am reading a book borrowed for peanut, "Eat, Pray,Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. The book is divided into three parts...eat,pray and love. There is a mesage of praying through out the whole book. Spirituality is dealt in different ways or manners....through food...prayer and love. I find it amazing that I am reading this book, it has had an impact on how I view my life. Elizabeth covers topics through travelling and meeting people. Although she does start off with her divorce close to the end you realise that you could have been in that bad relationship, only you were lucky enough not to have married that person.
Check it out.....Im still on the last chapter and taking my time reading it(cause I don`t like to finish good books too quick)
Mpho Molao and Bonolo Ratshid: Same but not different by Sello Pesa
